Crochety Old Man

Hello! How are you tonight?

Been Better.

Can I get you a drink while you look at the menu?

All you have is Pepsi? I guess I'll have to have tap water. No lemons, though - I hate lemons.

Ok. I'll be right back.

No!! Don't go anywhere! Who knows when you'll be back. I just want a burger. Rare.

Ok - I'll put the order for the burger right in. Is medium ok? That's the least that we can cook burgers.

Well, I guess it'll have to be. Try not to burn it this time, ok?

I'll do my best. (And I smile.) Would you like fries or coleslaw?

Well, I hate your fries because they have the skins. Who leaves the skins on the fries? nobody likes that.

(I smile) Coleslaw?

No. I hate the coleslaw here.

Another potato or veggie?

I'm not eating veggies with a burger!

I have Mashed, B---

They have the skins, too! I hate the skins. I guess I'll have to get fries.

(At this point I was tempted to remind him that Burger Kind is less than a mile from our restaurant. And they don't have skins on their fries.)

Another waitress brought the meal over, and I went back to check on everything, expecting a barrage of complaints.

How is the burger?

I can eat it.

I'm glad to hear it.




What else could I say?