Waitress Stories

Remember When???

2009-07-16T08:51:00.003-04:00

So last night, I got into an interesting conversation with one of my co workers...

We've both been at the restaurant for WAY TOO many years, so between the two of us, we were able to remember some of the most interesting moments.

Remember when a certain waitress accidentally sat on a tub of grill cleaner that was left out of the closet and got burns on her behind? (Yeah, really toning that down - I know)
I hear she still has scars. She was out for almost two weeks. (Sorry, honey, yes, we laughed...)

Remember when the teenagers set off the fire alarms and we all had to go outside and wait in the rain for over an hour while they cleared the building?
Yep we were busy that night! And we still had to go back in to clean up the messes on the table. Too bad no one had to pay...or tip...

Remember when the power went out, and I was waiting on a party of 10 that would certainly have left a sweet tip - if I could have served them food?
Yes I do - and remember cleaning up the mess in the galley after waiting over 2 hours for the power to come on?

Remember when we got the alarm for the take out people to "wear" to the cars?
Remember how many times the restaurant lit up and the alarm rang through the dining room before they took it away???

Remember when Woburn had ecoli in their drinking water, and we caught people brushing their teeth in the bathroom?
And scrubbing their armpits?

Remember when a certain bartender chased a customer out the door because he left a crappy tip?
Yep - she got fired...

Remember when a certain waitress chased a customer out into the parking lot because they didn't pay? Then proceeded to scream at them even though the customer was twice her size?
I miss her...

There are a million more... and I'm sure we all have some...

Where did the Doorservers Go???

2009-05-22T14:11:00.000-04:00

Don't get me wrong... I know that being a doorserver is not an easy job. I've done it. I hated it. I would do everything I can to avoid doing it again.

But the fact remains that a crappy doorserver car ruin your night. And don't think that only the new ones are the crappy ones....

So I have put together a little list of important points to remember, just in case anyone needs a little refresher course.

*Someone needs to stay at the door. There are 4 of you, you can't all walk off at the same time...

*You really need to know where the clean tables are before you start walking people into the dining room.

*Since there are 9 food servers, please follow the rotation set up by our corporate managers to make sure all servers get at least one table.

*Don't make elderly people walk through the entire restaurant for a back table.

*Don't skip me because you just sat me 10 minutes ago. I can handle it.

*Don't put people on a wait if I have 3 open tables.

*Don't forget about Station 9. I know it's in the back, but.....

*Don't give customers menus with teeth marks in them ~ or hot fudge on them.

*Don't seat dirty tables.

Anyting else??

Babysitting???

2009-05-02T18:14:00.000-04:00

You know the night is off to a rough start whan the first three tables you wait on all have some sort of issue.

I'm working on the bar tonight, but I got to hear a wonderful story from one of the more animated waitresses.

Table number one ~ Read the wrong price when ordering and was upset by that extra $2 on the bill.

Table number two ~ "But the Medeteranean Chicken doesn't look like the picture..."

Table number three ~ Declined Credit Card. So what does he do??? Leave his kids at the table to run to the ATM. Ummm... ok, but there"s gonna be an extra charge for that...

Can We Put the Yankees on the Big TV?

2009-04-24T09:33:00.000-04:00

"No"

I love bartending.

Notes from the meeting....

2009-04-24T09:25:00.003-04:00

They let me leave the meeting 30 minutes early, so I feel a little bad about trash talking, but seriously, was it really that important?

First, they fed us Tootsie Rolls (At 8AM?) Ok
THEN - they told us that the person who took the most candy at our table had to stand up in front of everyone and share something personal about their life. Thank goodness I can't eat candy until after that second cup of coffee is down.

Next was the Award Ceremony - which for the first time went to someone who is not a huge show about how much she helps. Someone who actually DESERVED the award. I was already impressed.

Following the Award Ceremony, we took a look at out Customer Service scores. Almost impressive - we're near the top of the company. (Hmmmm - manager's scores are a little low, though...)

Next - and this is my favorite part - we got to ROLE PLAY being servers. Please tell me we weren't expected to take this seriously, because I need far more coffee to pull this one off.

Finally, we - Oh - 9:30 - Time for me to sneak out the back door!

So I arrived back around 5PM for my bartending shift. What a riot! Half the staff was on doubles, the entire bartending staff had been at work since 7:30 AM. We were too tired to pretend that we were anything but a bunch of laughing idiots. We had a blast.

Thank goodness for regulars. I simply told them about my day, and to keep their expectations low. They loved it. So did my tip jar.... Maybe I need to be tired more often.

Mandatory Meeting

2009-04-17T10:07:00.002-04:00

Don't you love those???

One of the joys of working for a corporate company who thinks that the $2.63 an hour that they pay me entitiles them to impose on the rest of my life.

Oh Wait - that's right - they do provide me with the Opportunity to make more money.

Either way - there is a "mandatory" meeting tomorrow morning. 7:30- 10 AM.

Ok - so I show up a 7:30, leave early to go open my shop at 10, work at my shop until 3, then go BACK to this hole to bartend until 12:15.

And the best part - after paying for gas to drive back and forth, it will actually cost me to go to this meeting....

I'm irritated. Does it show?

I can post from work.....

2009-04-01T21:18:00.000-04:00

Well that just added a whole new dimension to my blog. Usually I can sit and reflect before writing. I can find the words that show the emotions in a humourous light. I have time to cool down before writing something that would surely be no more than a rant.

Not now. Now I can share the honest truth behind being an overworked waitress.

New wait staff, pushy customers, angry cooks - beware...

April Fools

2009-04-01T17:50:00.000-04:00

"There's a guy choking out front!"
Riiiiight. After 3 recent choking incidents there's another one on April Fools Day. OK.

Good thing I'm the only one that thinks that way. A customer was able to do the heimlich and several people called 911.

The guy was fine. Sat down to finish dinner after all was said and done. A stream of medics from the local PD and FD stopped by his table to check on him, but he left with a full belly and a happy smile...

What I Really Meant to Say...

2009-03-22T21:31:00.003-04:00

By now we all know that waitressing is all about creating a pleasant, cheerful, persona. One that doesn't get upset or frustrated. One that can handle anything thrown its way on a busy Friday night.

I have found the best way to keep that persona alive, is to play a little game I like to call "What I really Meant to Say". So the customer may never actually hear what I really meant to say, but believe me, the rest of the staff knows...

When serving the couple who can drink 7 glasses of diet soda during a one hour meal.
"Of course, I'll be right back with a refill."
What I Really Meant to Say...
"Are you kidding me??? I've made 6 trips to your table already, and I know that you are only going to leave a $4 tip. Maybe I should just hook up an IV!"

When serving the man who ordered a Medium Rib Eye and got a beautiful Medium Rib Eye that is making my mouth water.
"Oh I am so sorry sir. The kitchen seemed to have under cooked it a bit, I'll take it right back and have them put it on for a minute. Would you like a salad on the house while you wait?"
And When I return with a slightly more cooked Medium Well Rib Eye....
"It was only on for a minute, I cannot understand how they managed to overcook it in only 2 minutes."
What I really meant to say...
"Just order the damn chicken!"

When serving the family who let their kids throw popcorn all over the floor, dump out all of the sugar packets, and smear marinara sauce and hot fudge on the table, the seats, the windows, and the couple sitting next to them.
"Oh, don't worry about the mess, I can take care of it."
What I really meant to say...
"It's a busy Friday night. Not only is my table taken up when you eat, I now have to take 20 extra minutes just to clean up the mess that your little heathens have made. Thank you for that 12% tip. It's good to know that you appreciate my time."

When serving the couple that can't just order off the menu, and need 15 changes made to each item ordered.
"Oh, I can't believe that they forgot the walnuts on your sandwich! I'll be right back with some for you."
What I really meant to say...
"The 17 other things you ordered changed came out right. I know you didn't ask for walnuts, too. But I will get them because you won't eat the sandwich without them, and I need you to eat - fast - so you will leave."

VACATION!!

2009-03-22T20:58:00.002-04:00

HaHaHa - That's an understatement.

In early December, I fell down my basement stairs and injured the muscles in my back. (I'm fine now, months later, but it's still an interesting story that has led to MANY changes in my life.)

About 1 hour before my shift on a busy Friday night, I was talking on the phone and running down the stairs to get my work shirt out of the laundry. Who knows what I slipped on, or how I managed to fall the way that I did, but I caught one of the stairs square on my side. PAIN.

No one was home but me and the dog, and all he could do to help was to lick my face. Seriously, when you are stuck on the floor this is not a sensation you want.
I managed to drag myself to the top of the stairs and was able to get my phone. I called a friend to come pick me up and take me to the hospital, and I called the restaurant to let them know that I may be a little late - maybe even a few weeks late.

Long story short - I spent the next few weeks on my couch with a heating pad and some pain killers. What a fabulous relief to not have to work!! It has been years since I actually took a vacation. Although this one was forced, I still enjoyed it. Maybe it was the painkillers...

As much as I missed the money, and as much as my mortgage company missed the money, I did enjoy the time off. It made it that much harder to go back after my 4 weeks was up.

So what did I do during those 4 weeks? I may have sat on the couch for most of it, but I was sitting there with a laptop in front of me. I started a business. Yes, 19 years of waitressing experience has finally led to a career in customer service. I am now the proud owner of a small second hand clothing boutique that works to raise money for local schools. Since I just opened at the end of January, I'm still waitressing 2 nights a week. I was even able to pick up a bartending shift on Saturdays.

I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it's very bright....

We're All Facing "Difficult Economic Times"...

2008-12-02T10:36:00.002-05:00

Um, Yeah - I noticed.

I tried to explain that to my mortgage company, but they didn't really seem to care.
Anyway - Last weekend, some of my regulars came in for a visit. Jokingly, I asked where they had been, and the wife - who was never really a friendly person to start with, looks right at me and states "Well, some of us have to cut back in these difficult economic times." As if I am the sole reason for their economic troubles.

In fact, people like them are the reason for MY economic troubles.

So we've been painfully slow lately. So we have to work harder to make the tips - with no guarantee that they'll even be there. No sweat. Just turn the nice on, come out of your shell, and start enjoying yourself on the job.

I have found that if I am willing to stay and close the restaurant, I am still able to make some money. People are simply looking for the best deals. No one is simply throwing money around any more. If you want that 20% tip - You'll now have to WORK FOR IT. And don't let it get you down if you only get 10%. Many people assume that we get paid an hourly wage, so if they don't tip well, it won't make that much of a difference. So let them leave and move on to the next table.

July?!? Has it really been that long???

2008-12-02T10:26:00.002-05:00

Clearly, I've been too busy having fun...

Well, even though I may not be blogging like I used to, I'm still thinking in that "I NEED to tell this to someone" sort of mindframe. So, every time I see something that needs to be shared, I jot down a little note in my server book.

Ok - so it's been months - and I don't always have the neatest writing, and I am pretty sure there is some hot fudge on part of one of the pages... But here goes:

more servers=better attention to customers
WhiskeyTangoNight
Superstitions?? Red Shirt?? Discover Card?? Smiley Face??
Drinking on the Job
10 Surefire ways to get fired
There is no greener grass...

Hmmm... There's more, and I'll try to decipher them later...
In the meantime...

The Art of Upselling

2008-07-12T08:38:00.003-04:00

For those unfamiliar with the term, upselling is when a waitress (or any other type of salesperson) can talk the customer into purchasing something slightly better and more expensive than they initially asked for.

The company encourages us to do this because, in the end, it means more sales for them, a higher check average for us, and a more satisfied customer.

Yesterday, I worked an afternoon shift. People don't tend to order as much at lunch, so I had to make the most of the tables I did have.

Upselling is not just about offering the wonderful options. It needs to be done with a little finesse. Servers need to be able to read their guest to gauge the best way to approach the suggestions.

There is a certain stigmatism associated with words like loaded, smothered, king size, super size, monster, etc. So if a customer orders a baked potato, don't ask if they want it loaded. Explain the choice in descriptive words that make it harder to resist. Would you like cheese, bacon, and chives melted on the top of your potato?

You can always upsell by getting the customer to purchase a larger size of the item they already ordered. Many of our appetizers come in a regular and large size. When they are ordered, I don't ask if customers want small or large. I offer them 8 piece or 12. The same goes for our salads and several of our steaks. I offer by ounces. 16 ounces is a respectable size for a meal. But you have no idea how many people can't resist the thought of a 24 ounce plate of steak.

When you offer an appetizer or a dessert, be sure to have a specific one in mind.

Did anyone save room for some chocolate cheesecake?
Ohhh That does sound good. Hmmmm... All right...

It takes a bit of practice, but for the most part, I can raise my sales by quite a bit, just by knowing the menu, and discovering how the customers need to be approached. It definitely shows in my tips at the end of the night...

Trash Picking???

2008-07-10T23:20:00.001-04:00

There is a continuous silverware shortage at my restaurant.
This is a serious and very frustrating issue for the entire staff.

Well, to make a frustrating situation even worse, we have opened several cases of forks and knives. SO WHERE HAS IT GONE?

Obviously, the wait staff is throwing it out. That is the only possible solution.
So, how do we resolve this issue? Well, we try the magnetic thing that goes over the top of the can to catch the silverware. It didn't work. We STILL ran out of silverware.

Obviously, the wait staff MUST be intentionally shoving it deep into the barrel, just to mess with us...
So, how do we resolve this issue? Place a pan over the top of the barrel for all servers to dump their trash into. Then make the dishwashers pick through it to get all the silverware that the waitstaff insists on throwing out...

I wish I were kidding.
Am I the only one who has an issue with this?
Is there a better solution for "Silverware Retention"?

I Quit My Day Job

2008-07-10T07:57:00.003-04:00

Every now and then, I dissapear...

I always promise to be back, but sometimes... well, you know.

I am a junior high teacher by nature, and I spent the last year teaching preschool (I KNOW, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!? Well, they offered me free preschool for my 3 yo. son...)
Anyway - teaching preschool didn't exactly pay my bills, so I still had to waitress. So basically, I gave up a 3 hour waitress shift and picked up 15 hours of daytime work. How I managed to think that would work out, I don't know... I spent many days teaching in the morning and waitressing the same night. Exhausting...

But I made it through the year and I just gave up the teaching job. Now I am back to waitressing again.

I really liked teaching preschool, but the waitress perks are just too much to resist. That everyday payday is my favorite.

It Ain't My Hair!

2008-07-10T07:52:00.003-04:00

Umm - Yes, it most certainly is!!

I put the dressing on the salad! I carried it out to your table. I would have noticed a GIANT hair in the bowl of dressing.

AND - I do not have LONG BLACK HAIR!!

But, I'm not in a position to argue, so I'll apologize and take it off your check.

(AND can you believe that they had the nerve to walk out on their check?!?!?)

No Pressure Here...

2008-03-21T10:48:00.002-04:00

This quickly became one of my favorite tables. A couple, the man very cocky and full of himself, and the woman in charge of everything. Thank goodness she liked me.

The time came to order, and the woman had decided, but the man had spent the entire time on his cell phone, so he wasn't ready. I took the woman's order, and looked at the man.
"Oh, just give me a second! I'll find something."
There are over fifty items on our menu - you won't find it quick enough.
"That's ok - I'll come back."
"No! I'll find something - Just put the pressure on. Hmmm. Wild Bleu Salad, what does that have? Hmm.. Maybe a cheeseburger... Oh Steak..."
"Yeah - I'll give you a few minutes." And I left. It was the middle of a busy Friday night. I was in the weeds already. Don't do this.
When I came back back to ask if he had decided, he had the nerve to tell me that he had forgotten because I took so long. I swear his wife kicked him under the table.
I said nothing and returned to the computer to place his order.
I proceded to check on the wife throughout the meal. She was a doll. And the husband suddenly became very sweet and kind. Maybe he was afraid she'd kill him if he was rude again.

I love people.

Stillllll waitressing - - -

2008-03-21T10:33:00.003-04:00

Yep, so I had a meltdown a while ago...
In addition to my crappy job and the stress of the holidays, I was being sued by a bunch of liars for almost $200,000, and I am fighting with the car dealership because my new car is a lemon. It was only a matter of time before I snapped....

So I took a little break. I gave away a bunch of my shifts. I worked a few extra hours at my other job - the one I actually like....

But now I'm back - and nothing has changed, except for my attitude.

I have found that keeping things bottled up inside is not a good idea! As servers, we take crap from people all the time - and if we want to keep getting paid that $2.63 an hour, we smile about it.

So I decided to stop doing that. And it feels liberating. If you want to be rude to me, you are just going to have to wait to do it, because I will walk away from your table at the first sign of disrespect, and I may not come back. If I like the people you are with, you might be able to get them to order you something.

I have plenty of stories to share....

Total Meltdown....

2007-12-25T22:43:00.000-05:00

yep, that was me Saturday night.

A couple weeks ago, I had a REALLY bad night.
Just in case you missed it...
And Saturday was starting out to be the same.
I was in Station 9, I got yelled at by Mr. Shitter, my regulars were late, and I held a table for them in the middle of a busy Saturday rush, and I was dealing with my own Holiday stress.

I went out to the break room to try to cool down. One of the bartenders was out there and he made the mistake of asking me what was wrong. It was like a cork was released. I had a total meltdown as I screamed what was wrong. What was wrong with the restaurant and the fact that we still have too many servers on even though business is back to normal, the customers who are jerks, the constantly crashing kitchen, the door servers who can't seem to find the back of the restaurant, the way the bathroom smells. You name it, I yelled it.

In my 17 years of waitressing, I have never had such an abusive outburst - AND IT FELT GOOD!! 17 years of being nice to people that secretly disgust me, and it finally came out.

Anyway - Once I was done screaming, I laughed a little, pulled myself back together, and went back out on the floor.

Merry Christmas

2007-12-25T22:26:00.000-05:00

and all of that...

Thank you to all of the wonderful people who contributed to the spoil my children fund.

May you all be blessed with wonderful service, perfectly cooked steaks, and clean silverware!

Merry Christmas!

Ritalin, Anyone?

2007-12-16T08:52:00.001-05:00

Tonight we will be offering an appetizer course of Ritalin for your table, on the house.

Your table has been chosen as the recipient of three doses of Ritalin.
We offer this special only to qualified families!

To qualify you must meet the following criteria:
*Loud Children who won't sit down in their seats
*Taking over 35 minutes to get the children to decide what to eat
*Excessive drink spills
*Popcorn flying over your table
*Children who are constantly up running in our isles
*Children who bump into waitresses as they are carrying trays
*Grabbing things off the tray as the waitress tries to set them down
*Saying very inappropriate things to the waitress

If you need more than 4 glasses of wine to deal with your children, something may be wrong...

Really not that funny....

2007-12-16T08:34:00.000-05:00

I have a cold, so in order to get through the past couple of nights, I have pumped myself full of cold medicine - which makes me a little dizzy, nearly deaf, and seeing spots. Not to mention, I seem to be laughing at everything.

So table 21 was sat with a family that seemed to have everything except a sense of humor. They ordered the finest wine, the Filet Mignon, and several of our special "Combo" meals. I put in the order, brought the apps, and everything seemed to be going fine.

I was at another table when the manager delivered their meal. All of the combos were mixed up. Great - $90 check and I can just see the tip going down....

I went to the kitchen to see what was wrong, and found out that The manager had brought a combo from another table's order, and mine was already being eaten by another customer. Even better - that tip is shrinking as we speak!

I explained the situation, and the table was actually kind of understanding. The meal came out again - delivered by another manager. STILL WRONG!!!!! Are you kidding?!?

"This is kind of like a Saturday Night Live skit!" The lady said to me. I apologized up and down, then went back to the galley to laugh. I couldn't help myself!! Was this really happening?

We finally fixed this - and my $90 check earned me a $13 tip.

Please Leave Your OCD Friends at Home...

2007-12-10T21:08:00.001-05:00

Last Friday I waited on a party of 8. 7 of the 8 were wonderful, normal people. Unfortunately, they brought their severely OCD friend with them.

She started complaining about the seating arrangements at the table, and somehow it was the door servers fault. When I showed up for a drink order, she ordered tap water for everyone, even though only one other person actually wanted it. She also made sure I knew haw badly she wanted some free popcorn.

When I cam back with my tray loaded with drinks and two bowls of popcorn held precariously in my other hand, she looked at me in shock. "You are going to bring more popcorn, right???" I gave her a look, and said as sweetly as I could. "Of course, I just thought you'd want a drink first."

Taking the meal order was almost painful. 6 of the normal people ordered normal meals in a normal fashion, then I got to Freak.
"Well, what did Rosemary order?" I looked up at the table. Could anyone save me??? Who the hell is Rosemary???
"Is everyone getting a full meal?" WHO CARES?!? Is SHE paying?!?
"Alright, I'll just get the turkey dinner, with mashed potatoes, gravy on the side, extra cranberry, a little extra butter for the biscuit, the stuffing on a side plate, an extra plate in case anyone wants to share, and a box." Are you kidding?
Next, the poor elderly lady next to her tried to order. "How is the broccoli cooked?" Before I could even answer, I heard Freak speak up. "Hard as a rock. You should probably get something else. It will be way to hard for you to..."
I had to step in - I couldn't take it any longer. "We cook it however you like it."
"Oh, can you make mine a little softer?" Of course, Nice Lady.
When the meal finally arrived, I was busy making sure all of the plates were in order, so my coworkers delivered it. I went over to check on everything, and I heard 7 "Yes, it's wonderful"s.
Then Freak had to speak up. "I'm going to need more butter. You forgot my box, and I'll need 6 napkins."
"6 Napkins?" OK this was all I could take - I laughed in her face, and walked away. I counted out 5 napkins and returned to the table. I handed them to the Freak, and refused to return to her end of the table.
The rest of the table was awesome, so I only checked on them.
But seriously, if you are going to bring your OCD friends out to dinner, you will need to take care of them yourselves.

I HATE MY JOB!!

2007-12-08T08:30:00.000-05:00

Ever have one of those nights??

Everything that could go wrong, did!

It started to snow, so the highway on the way to work was a parking lot. So the whole night started later than usual.

I was in station 9, THE WASTELAND, which is apparently too far away from the hostess podium for the door servers to find it. The few tables that I did get, I had to seat myself.

The tables the hostesses actually did seat me were nothing but teenagers. Did I piss someone off up there? The hostess actually had the nerve to laugh when she told me that one of the other waitress was giving her trouble for the tables she had sat me. Yeah - well, I'm so glad YOU think it is a joke.

Around 7:30, I finally stopped talking to people. There was nothing nice left to say, and all I wanted to do was walk out and never come back. Just leave my tables and sneak out the back door. Some day - on a night like last night, I will sneak out. I wonder how long it would take them to notice...

Party of 65

2007-12-06T10:01:00.000-05:00

We close at 11:30 - Our liquor license runs out at Midnight -

11:15 PM - Party of 65 at the door.

How much fun was that?!?!?

There were only 4 of us still on, and we needed to end this as quickly as possible, so I had a party of 10, a party of 16, and two parties of 4. All teenagers.....

At least they were nice kids...
At least they did leave something for a tip.....
At least they didn't make too much of a mess....